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well i guess that i just don't know's Journal

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

[ << Previous 25 ]



	2002.10.27 12.51 i want to be ramona quimby so i've had this journal for about a year now i think it's time i change it. new phases, new faces hellyes. Mood: tear it apart Music: growing up and giving in
		(9 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.27 01.19 dude, THE RING is such a scary movie i was totally screaming my head off the whole time i never do that then again, i never see movies in theaters either Mood: TERRIFIED Music: the beatles:hey jude.
		(19 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.26 02.35 let's pour out in the streets and yell and sing haha, this is the coolest thing that has happened to me in a while. this dorky kid replied to this post making fun of me or something. when i read the comments today i knocked my drink over on the computer desk laughing. the best part is this kid (about 2 months ago) left like a million creepy messages like "i have an aunty who lives in michigan,if ever i visited id like to meet," and i was really mean to him. wah ha ha. anyway, i remember like a year ago telling someone that you know you at least have a personality if somebody hates you for it. so that's cool. anyway, i thought it was funny. Mood: cheerful Music: the broadways. this routine
		(48 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.25 00.51 this is how i think real secrets are never whispered: only screamed. Mood: tell me a secret
		(21 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.24 16.41 gemma + chris = rockin it so, who are you? i'm a winner Mood: wah ha ha Music: long nights, hard times!
		(19 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.24 00.24 break into fragments of noise i went to the red wings game! Mood: smooth Music: let yourself get used
		(2 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.22 21.25 cool, this is where i fucking live. wonderful. ( i dont like anything ) Mood: enraged Music: "i'm against it" . the ramones
		(7 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.20 00.46 stuck to the roof of my mouth with a staple i dont even want to go to college anymore. and i cant even explain it, or the problem, cos i know if did, nobody would understand me at all, everyone would think i was a fucked up spoiled brat. i don't know what to do, i really don't. Mood: gloomy Music: only the good die young
		(8 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.19 04.08 today i got two lovely letters in the mail, one from my friend jared, and one from muna. letters are the coolest ever. tomorrow i am playing hockey and going to this art show in detroit: degas and the dance. it should be sweet. i like taking two art classes this year. it makes me less stressed and brings out my creative side. i feel pretty overwhelmed right now, but i know that i can't let up, because my mother is hovering, waiting for me to give up, wimp out, and run crying back to her. i can't do that, because i'll be back to day one. so it's on for now. Mood: artfag Music: small brown bike:the cold
		(but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.16 17.25 childhood innocence: apparently there is a squirrel out on the road somewhere, covered in blood. vikas: this lady moved him over to the side of the road, and he keeps trying to move up the curb. but he will be okay. kiran: but he's covered in blood. no he won't. vikas: yes he will! he'll be fine. vikas wore a "detroit science center" shirt today. vikas: and mark saw my shirt and he loves science and he yelled "science science science science!" my mother: vikas, that's because he's autistic. vikas: no mom, he just really likes science. vikas, age eight: Mood: worried Music: the lawrence arms - #10 on ghost stories
		(12 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.13 22.52 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! alkaline trio is sold out. that sucks so fucking bad. that dumb show was my beacon of light. too bad my mother wouldn't take me to go get tickets. what else is there to say? i'm really sad. sorry amyface. yeah, and saves the day/piebald is sold out too. last resort: does anybody have a ticket to sell? Mood: gloomy Music: the doors . "hello i love you"
		(8 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.11 00.46 everything is just dirt currently avoiding everything possible. i feel like the king in that myth, dionysius. always having a knife hanging over my head, hanging by a horsehair. the horsehair that could pull apart at any second. that horsehair is my life, and his head is mine. wonderful. Mood: wan Music: "sweet jane" velvet undergound
		(16 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.07 22.05 let's walk home, let's be afraid Mood: moody Music: "you've got so far to go" alkaline trio
		(4 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.04 00.52 living alone is nice which of kuukiis friends are you? what the! Mood: charlotte deva megan Music: you've got so far to go
		(11 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.10.03 02.53 maybe tomorrow my family went to florida until sunday. my mom let me stay home alone (until this weekend), as part of her "i don't care about you" regime(n). this usually never would have happened. weird. but anyway, the silent house is nice. today teresa ran over my foot with her car. it really hurt, but afterwards i laughed about it. my favorite flip flops got ripped, so i went to fourth hour with one shoe on. haha. nothing else to say. i'm continually tired. Mood: exhausted Music: an evening of extraordinary blah blah i'm tired
		(but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.27 18.10 this is our year for sure my first contact sheet: my senior quote ended up being: to understand mankind, look at the word "mankind." it's two separate words - "mank" and "ind." what do they mean? it's a mystery... and so is mankind. -jack handey (i shortened it) i wanna play football tonight. and run around in the cold air, with the wind making my cheeks red. i love autumn. Mood: calm Music: 100 resolutions. the lawrence arms
		(15 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.18 16.43 i know cos you told me last weekend current phrase to live by: why bother. Mood: dull Music: alkaline trio:snake oil tanker
		(11 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.16 21.01 my dad and brother are back from india! (after a month) my MOTHER is the most poisonous person i know. Mood: shocked Music: my mother is hitler
		(4 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.15 01.30 you've lost that loving feeling! we went to see the righteous brothers for free. it was righteous. haha. weird: today my mother got in a big fight over something stupid. and she won't talk to me anymore because i called her a bitch (i guess that means i haven't yet called her one?) so she's like "i am trying to keep as little as possible relationship with you right now" so she won't talk. and when i ask her if i can do something, she just says "do whatever you want" i think she wants me to feel really guilty. ... instead i am using my new-found freedom to the fullest. might as well, before she gets a grip, stops acting dramatic, and punishes me for getting "out of control" the new "apathetic" attitude is kind of unnerving though. but i guess that's her point. Mood: uncomfortable Music: the pixies:alec eiffel
		(9 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.13 01.48 tired of being bored, i'm through with the headaches school is school once again. (unneeded stress) school takes your brain off of everything except tomorrow's test, or tonight's homework, or something stupid and insignificant in the scheme of things. i dont know whether to laugh or cry. i got a haircut wednesday. it looks horrible. my mother and i aren't on speaking terms, unless she tells me to do the dishes or take out the garbage i didn't eat the dinner she made today i'm trying to be more independent (which of course means i forgot to eat dinner) i'm so fucking tired i can't even see the screen right (eyes crossed with fatigue) get me out of here Mood: horribly discontent Music: something matt skiba something, my head hurts
		(11 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.11 19.39 about anything, and not just today. "have you forgotten yet?... look up, and swear by the green of the spring that you'll never forget." -siegfried sassoon 1919. (it was written on the ceiling, english class) Mood: i like this quote Music: brick wall views
		(2 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.10 18.03 out of gas, out of road this morning i found my dad's old tie on my floor so i used it as a belt Mood: innovative Music: modest mouse:out of gas
		(26 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.08 15.53 obnoxiousness. camden and i made a list. bands that are embarrassing to admit you like / bands that suck: 1. dashboard confessional 2.the get up kids 3. bright eyes 4.the hives 5. the white stripes 6. the strokes 7. anti-flag 8.thursday 9. saves the day 10.the donnas 11.the offspring 12.AFI 13. hey mercedes 14.hot rod circuit 15. new found glory 16.pansy division 17.something corporate 18.rage against the machine 19:allister 20. green day 21.blink 182 22. planes mistaken for stars 23. fenix tx 24:system of a down 25: finch 26:the locust 27: savage garden 28: the blood brothers 29:simple plan 30: the ataris 31:avril lasagna 32:troys bucket 33. dave mathews band 34. matchbox 20 35. incubus 36. boxcar racer 37. ok go 38. linkin park 39. slipknot 40. taking back sunday 41. new weezer 42. the vines 43. U2 44. the casualties 45. mxpx 46. jimmy eat world 47. nine inch nails 48. red hot chili peppers 49. crazy town 50. danzig 51. eve6 52. coldplay 53. further seems forever 54. michelle branch 55. michael bolton 56. bad religion 57. reel big fish 58. five iron frenzy i did the odds, camden did the evens. after a while we just stopped because we got sick of hating on bands. it gets boring. i dont agree with every single one of them, for the record. it was fun being a bitch for a while. feel free to add yr own / start fights. Mood: amused Music: the ramones - beat on the brat
		(45 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.08 03.10 at dawn a little bird blessed me bottle of beer + kerouac it didnt mean anything Mood: unwise Music: nothing
		(8 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)



	2002.09.05 23.18 sound system sound system i could kiss that face Mood: restless
		(2 missed chances to live ... but isn't that the way it always is?)

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